


We'll be fine (Eventually)

by ThatOnePlatypus



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Season 2 compliant, Steve is fucked up and not dealing well, the Steve/Nancy is barely mentionned bc it was canon then
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:09:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27313126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOnePlatypus/pseuds/ThatOnePlatypus
Summary: Some days are harder than others, after they save the world for the second time.Steve tries, he really does, to go back to his normal life. He’s good at that, he’s found. Pretending.
Relationships: Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	We'll be fine (Eventually)

**Author's Note:**

> So this is set between seaon 2 and 3. Honestly, this is a character study exploring all of my headcanons of what Steve traumas are, his very poor coping mechanisms, and everything season 3 has just. Ignored.  
> No, I'm not very happy with season 3, no I won't be dealing with it there.  
> For more of my opinions on Steve and everything fucked up with his situation, head to the end note!  
> Enjoy!

Some days are harder than others, after they save the world for the second time.

Steve tries, he really does, to go back to his normal life. He’s good at that, he’s found after the first time. After going to the Byers’ house to apologize and maybe expecting Nancy cheating on him with Jonathan, but _never_ expecting to find a monster there.

To _fight_ a monster there.

How does one pretend everything is normal after that? Well, Steve had made do. He’d made up with Nancy. Apologized to all the right people. Went to a few parties. Didn’t let his grades slip more than they already had _before_.

He had pretended, with all his might, that everything was fine. That all was right. That all was good, and normal, and just like it used to be. After all, if he pretended hard enough, it almost was. Life went on, after all. School kept up, he was still with Nancy, he still had trouble focusing on class because the words sometimes swam in front of his eyes, Tommy was still a dick, and all was well.

Steve had done what he did best. He had put all his issues, the nightmares, _everything_ , away. Packed in a box, lock it in, throw away the key, and throw away the box as well for good measure.

He’s good at that. Pretending.

But after the second time, after getting flowers for Nancy and trading them for a bat, after putting himself between kids and certain death again and again…

Well.

It’s harder.

It’s harder, because, in Nancy Wheeler’s words, it’s _bullshit_ . Pretending, making do, whatever he’s doing, it’s all _fucking bullshit._

Who cares? He’s just Steve Harrington, ex-King of the shitty highschool of the shitty town of Hawkins, Indiana. He’s not going to put _that_ on his resume any more than he’s going to put _monster hunter_ . He could put babysitter, but then again, what sort of job would _that_ get him?

Pretending won’t get him any job. It won’t get him to college. It won’t get him girls, or stability, or a sudden nightmare-free future.

But he tries. Because he’s the Party’s babysitter. Because he’s Nancy and Jonathan’s friend. Because he doesn’t want them to worry, and because sometimes it’s easier to pretend than to talk about it.

He tries.

He mostly succeeds.

He doesn’t quite make it, at least not when there’s no one to see him fall apart at the seams, or anyone to judge. There's lots of that in his life. Time, spent alone. Not difficult, given that he comes back to an empty house most nights.

It's kind of pathetic, Steve thinks.

But he's also stupidly grateful for it, probably for all the wrong reasons.

No one at home means no one here to freak out when the kitchen light flickers because of some badly screwed lightbulb. No one to hear him throw up in the bathroom when he gets a nightmare where he's too late and finds the kids dead in tunnels. No one to wonder why he doesn't sleep in his own bed anymore, preferring the couch downstairs. No one to ask him why he has a nail-bat over his shoulders sometimes while he cooks or drinks a beer.

Steve isn’t sure when having his bat around became the new normal, but these days it is. He sleeps with it under the couch, puts it under the back seats in his car, keeps it near whenever he can get away with it. When he wakes up from a nightmare, it's the first thing he looks for.

It's simply comforting to have it around, at hand. Just in case.

The others think that it's over. Truly over and done. The Gate is closed, they're safe.

Steve doesn't think so.

Maybe it's paranoïa, maybe it's his nightmares getting to him. Maybe he's just being stupid - _you're an idiot, Steve Harrington_. But Steve, well. He's good at denial and pretending but he's not optimistic enough to actually fool himself. He may not be the smartest guy around, but he can see patterns.

The Gate is hardly something they understand. Their _expert_ on it is a thirteen year old girl, for fuck's sake. Sure, there's also whatever scientist Hopper is in touch with, but they had been wrong before, hadn't they. They'd had to have a thirteen year old, traumatized boy warning them for them to catch a clue, and it had almost been too late.

So, no. Steve doesn't think it's over.

So he keeps his bat close. He keeps an eye on his pool on the worst nights. He double checks his light bulbs. He does a head count every time he gets the kids.

And on bad nights, when the nightmares won't leave him alone, when the stench of those tunnels get stuck in his nose, when he finds himself jumping at shadows and trying to murder his own reflection in windows, he leaves. Walks onto the streets, looking for moving shadows and flickering street lights. Walks around Hawkins, right at the edges, making rounds unseen. Walks right into the woods at the edge of his garden, with his bat in his hand, and restless energy buzzing under his skin.

He looks at trees that seem alive under the moonlight, _plants his feet_ , and dares the world to try its worst.

Somehow, the world never takes him on the challenge, but that's fine.

Steve can wait.

He's good at that. Almost as good as he is at pretending.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, feel free to leave a kudo or a comment! Or even a comment sayjng 'kudos', that's also fantastic! I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> If you don't feel up to hearing more about this, skip the rest of this.
> 
> For everyone else: Buckle up, Imma get real. Steve was done fantastic in seasons 1 and 2. Best character development or reveal that I've seen in a while. For once, I actually found myself fond of the white, hetero boy with a jock personallity.  
> And then everything somehow disappeared. He just becomes moronic babysitter comic relief of pathetic proportions, the butt of all the jokes. Season 3 Steve is miserable. I hate it.  
> Steve was, like everyone else, thrown into this shit unprepared. He adapted surprisingly well, but see that's the thing. He copes by giving it his all, even though he's overwhelmed, and then he tries to pretend it never happened because life goes on with or without man eating monsters.  
> But what really fucks with me is the 'joke' of season 3. All of his friends are children. Yeah. That's exactly it. After turning over a new leaf he no longer has his old friends. Nancy and Johnathan kinda went off on their own (am I bitter about the denied possibility of an ot3? Maybe, but that's hardly the point) and don't deal the same way Steve is. Which would be fine if, you know, Steve had any other support system than a gaggle of 12 years olds that treat him like their dumb sidekick and don't quite understand things like he does.  
> But Steve doesn't have present parents. Doesn't have many friends. His only close 'friends' are kids - and even if Steve weren't dealing the way he is, he still wouldn't want to bother them with his issues even if he realized it'd maybe help.  
> So yeah. Steve, Trauma, and thus a character study with some headcanons thrown in was born.
> 
> I could rant some more, but I think I already said my piece well enough for now!
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> (Disclaimer: my opinions are my own, I mean no disrespect, and do not want to start arguments or discourse in the comments. This is fanfiction, and a way to deal with my own feelings and emotions. Please stay polite and courteous with both me and each other!)


End file.
